London to Auckland

Time-out in Gran Canaria

Hola Amigos

Most people I know are too busy to scratch themselves. If that’s you then you should skip reading this and jump ahead to the last two words. But then again, if you are too busy to ‘smell the roses’ then perhaps you should read this. The theme of this blog is time. Why? Thank you for asking! Time and timing are quite critical for London-Sydney. There is a reasonably small window of time each year for a departure which would see us achieving the most favorable weather conditions over most of the route. We haven’t set a final departure date yet and time is running out for June 2009. I can report that we are looking closely at a great proposition for our support boat but that won’t be available until 2010 and we are in final discussions about what type of PWC to use but this is dragging on longer than it should as well. Major sponsorship is still an issue so time is becoming important.

I was rostered for a week off in London on my current work trip. It’s winter there right now and the thought of spending a week in London in wintertime is like the prospect of watching a full length       real-time documentary on the first tortoise to circumnavigate the globe on foot.

With that thought in mind I discussed my fears with my fellow aviators and was told to go to lastminute dot com. There I expected to find famous statements made by people in the minute before they died such as: “Is it serious Doc?” ,”Damn that’s goin ta hurt in the morning” and “Give it full power Marvin. We’ll easily clear that hill.” I also thought that it might possibly be a site with quick recipes for busy Mums. But it was neither. It’s a site you go to in order to book cheap holidays.

I wanted to escape London and go somewhere warm, do some fitness training and stock up on vitamin D. I had heard that lance Armstrong was training in the Canary Islands so if it’s good enough for Lance then it’s good enough for me. I booked a week’s accommodation and meals at the Maspalomas Oasis Club, a Canaries resort which is described as ‘Good Value”. Then I organized a staff discounted ticket through Qantas and headed off.

Getting from London to Madrid on the first leg was easy but then I got stuck in the time warp that is Madrid Barajas Airport. Time stands still there. Flights get delayed. No one tells anyone anything and everything thing moves in sllllloooowwww moooootion. Sometimes I swear the clock went backwards. Airline staff have a very low on load category so I missed out on three flights to the Canaries and by the airport clock worked out that I had been there 12 hours of airport time which out in the real World would mean that it was already mid March 2009 and I was late for getting back to London. But finally, with a sigh of relief I slipped onto the last flight to Gran Canaria. And I was none the worse for wear from this experience either except for a continuous nervous twitch in my right cheek and my left eye had stopped blinking. The right one still worked though so all was well.

The flight was uneventful and I eventually arrived at the Oasis Club just before midnight and fell into bed. The next morning I discovered why the Oasis Club is described as ‘good value’ and that’s because everything there seems to have come from the two dollar shop. I also discovered that lastminute dot com is actually so named because it’s where you go to book holidays for the last few minutes of your life. Everyone there was old. I reckon the average age of the guests was about seventy fifteen. Not that I’ve got anything against old people mind you. I am one and most of my friends are older and wiser than I am. Old people are full of good advice (whether you need it or not). One old friend of mine when asked for an opinion peers into the distance for a few seconds and you never know what’s coming but you do know that it will be profound when it comes. Not everyone there was old. There was one young family there but I think they were trying to get to Edinburgh to see the Duke and got on the wrong flight.

On the second day I decided to catch a bus around to Peurto Rico and hire a PWC. This proved to be the highlight of my trip. The ride around the coastal cliffs to Peurto Rico is scary with big vertical drop-offs of 100s of feet to the sea. To add to the confusion the bus was being driven by a guy who thought he was Speedy Gonzales but was actually Stirling Mouse. He was a maniac. At the same time a version of the Mexican hat dance was playing over the buses loud speaker. The experience was like going from slow motion to fast forward in an instant. You’ve all seen movies with a bus careening around a mountain side with chickens and baggage falling off the roof. That was us but without the chickens who had wisely chosen to walk to Peurto Rico for their own safety and in support of the tortoise who was passing through at the time.

Puerto Rico is a beautiful spot with cafes on the water and resort accommodation on the surrounding hills. I hired a Seadoo Gti for an hour. It’s hard to ride a ski with only one arm and one leg so I delayed payment until after the ride and zoomed out into the blue. It was kind of exciting to be riding on the Atlantic and the coastal views were tremendous so I really enjoyed the ride. Sadly the hour was over all too soon and I returned the machine and then ‘hopped’ onto  a boat bound for Peurto Mogan , the town known as little Venice, and even more beautiful than Peurto Rico. After relaxing there with ice cream and coffee I braved the bus again back to Maspalomas. It was a great day that had me considering riding a Spanish bus from London to Sydney for a greater adrenaline rush.

For the next few days I did nothing but train and relax which sound s like a waste of time but, believe  me,  it’s not. I did think momentarily about hiring another Seadoo and trying to ride around the island but it all got too hard and I would have gone anticlockwise as I always do (to try and turn back time) and Tim Turner would have pointed out that I have a problem with always riding anticlockwise and he would want to do a full analysis on why and believe me, large grants are given every year to fund investigations less important than this.

So mostly my week in the Canaries was a time for contemplation about time and for those of you who have absolutely nothing to do then read on for the contemplatory results.

A billionaire with a day left to live is poor relative to a new born baby with no money but a lifetime to live. Let’s explore that concept.

The new born baby: No assets, maximum time… have it all ahead of them. Right now they are caught solely in the present but their future is there. It beats me why they have to cry all the time about all this good fortune though

A six year old: Some toys, lots of time…. starting to have dreams about what they want to be when they grow up but time still seems endless to them.

My 12 year old: IPod and phone, lots of time…. has just been to his final intermediate school dance where the girls get all dressed up and dance around together under the spot light and the boys all stand around the side watching them dance. The girls like being watched but they don’t know why and the boys like watching but they don’t know why. Everyone looks forward to growing older, discovery and more independence.

 The parents of the new born child: More assets less time….. are still young but already are producing the next generation to replace them. Now they are looking forward to the kids leaving home.

 Myself: Increased assets, decreased time… 49 years old, fitter than most 35 year olds, more ‘out there’ than most  25 year olds, and not as smart as my 16 year old(just ask him). Some minor signs of deterioration such as a ‘platinum’ tinge around the hairline, rapidly accelerating nose hair growth and an acute awareness that it is all downhill from here. Time is becoming much more valuable.

 My Dad: No assets, no time…. Already dead for 19 years. No time left! If he was alive today he would probably be knocking and thumping furiously on the top of his coffin, demanding to be let out. Assuming we heard all this ruckus it’s reasonable to assume that we would let him out. After a good feed he would start to use time extremely well, with family, grandkids, a bit of travel and assuming there is no bad news in heaven he would wander around muttering about how he couldn’t believe the All Blacks haven’t won another world cup. 

And what about all the people who get cancer and have their time remaining reduced dramatically or people who have a car accident. This could be just around the corner for any of us but hopefully not!! Where do you fit in to all this?

You just never know so the golden rule is value time. It’s finite. When you come to the end of your life have no regrets. Hence London to Sydney by PWC. Time2go

Feliz  Navidad