London to Auckland

London to Sydney has a bit of a ring to it don’t you think? Berwick-upon-Tweed to Ulladulla doesn’t.

“Houston, we have a problem”. It turns out that the London Port Authority has banned PWCs on the Thames. Realistically I sort of agree with the concept. Who really needs wayward riders screaming back and forward in front of the London Eye? But when asked if they could make an exception for this ‘one of ‘ special event the LPA said…”Absolutely not” They suggested that we start somewhere out near the channel on the Essex Coast.

This is another example of the considerable lack of thought and flexibility that we have come to expect from beaurocrats. All we are asking is to be able to kick off the event to great fanfare and to the promotional benefit of the City of London. Then we would ride in a straight line and below the speed limit down the Thames just like all the other boats that haven’t been banned yet. How hard can this be? Recently it was deemed ok for a 24 ft Navy ‘rubber duck’ to scream down the thames with gun toting commandos on board and a couple of helicopters overhead to help launch a new James Bond book called Devil May Care.

Perhaps we need to talk to someone else with a bit of imagination.

And, by the way, PWCs are also banned on Sydney Harbour but Aussies love a party so I don’t reckon we’ll have much trouble convincing the authorities in Sydney.

 Pimms and dry doesn’t quite cut it and neither does watching old videos of the Bay City Rollers, nor does riding a PWC from Berwick-upon-Tweed to Ulladulla.